One of the hardest phases in a child’s life for a parent has to be adolescence and teenage years. Puberty, mood swings, irritability and anger are just a few of the impacts of your child approaching the stages to adulthood. A positive and consistent relationship with your teenager is crucial as a parent-teen relationship can influence the teens performance in school, relationships with others and even the teens mental state.
“Child Trends’ analyses of the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth 1997 have shown that adolescents with high-quality relationships with their parents are subsequently more likely to have good grades and less likely to have been suspended from school. Similarly, parental involvement with older teens (14-to-18 years old) predicts higher grades and higher academic expectations.”
As I’m nearing the end of my teenage years, I’ve observed tips on how to better a parents connection with their teenager. Here’s points that I’ve gathered through my understanding of parent-teenager relationships and how to improve them.
Collaborative Parenting
Without a doubt, every teen has their individual differences but I believe treating your your child more like an adult will significantly improve your relationship. Talking to them, listening to what they have to say, respecting and trusting them should be fundamental factors in creating a positive relationship. I’ve always respected my parents for attempting to understand my hobbies, passions and being interested in what I enjoy doing. This has allowed pleasant conversations about things I found entertaining and I could tell my parents valued our relationship.
Although, as an adult, you’ll find yourself often busy or working, there should be a time dedicated to bonding with your child, from something as small as eating a meal together to finding an activity you both enjoy; time spent together is the time in which you’ll find out more about your child and let them become more comfortable with sharing things about themselves. My parents established this by going to the gym with me from time to time, this allowed us to have a shared pastime and a mutual interest we could discuss, as well as exercising which was generally healthy for us. Remember to respect your teens decisions, opinions, aspirations and respect that they won’t always tell you everything.
Know Where To Draw The Line
Maintaining the delicate balance of being both their carer and their friend is most important. Enforce clear rules, be a suitable role model and mentor for your teen. You could encourage your teen to create rules with you, compromising on curfews and when to tidy. Also, explain why the rules are being established and their purpose. Calmly, criticize their bad behaviour and let them learn from their mistakes. Most importantly, make your child feel that it’s safe and loved, with plenty of security and comfort of having a parent.
By Julia Trela, Work Experience Student
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Other articles on this topic:
Managing 3 R’s of the Parent/Adolescent Relationship
Tips for collaborative parenting
Statistics:
Parent-Teen Relationships and Interactions: Far More Positive Than Not
