Life has changed immeasurably in a very short space of time. For many mothers who work outside the home, any semblance of ‘work-life balance’ has disappeared and been replaced by a new type of ‘juggling act’ that could not have been predicted. I write this as a clinical psychologist, and also a mum to two small children – whilst writing this brief article I have been asked to repair a broken robot, help with a coding game, and find a hammer! Managing multiple and competing demands has become the norm for many of us trying to work in the current situation, whether that is from home or not.
During the current crisis there has been increasing recognition of the additional demands placed on women. Juggling work and children is challenging at the best of times, but the current situation is making it even more challenging. Many women are reporting an increased sense of guilt and stress as a result of trying to manage multiple and conflicting roles. Women who usually do not work outside the home must also not be forgotten – their roles at home have changed, any ‘downtime’ they might have had has diminished and their workload in the home has increased.
There are also different challenges depending on the different stages of motherhood – the challenges can be very different for mothers with young babies, toddlers, older children and teenagers. Whilst we may be ‘in this together’ to some extent, we are all managing in different circumstances with different access to resources and support, and the practicalities of day to day life can have a huge impact on how we are able to cope and how resilient we feel.
So what can help?
Whilst we cannot change the circumstances we are currently living in, there are some things we can do to help:
- Attend to the basics before anything else: sleep, food, and physical safety.
- Voice the struggles, without shame – it is understandable to find this hard!
- Have permission to take one day at a time.
- Organise connection – virtual coffee times, and WhatsApp groups can be helpful – but discuss what is useful and what feels too much.
- New guidelines allow meeting up with one person from another household, if socially distanced – perhaps a walk with a friend whilst keeping 2 metres apart.
- If you are working from home then keep some “anchors” to your familiar working life (e.g. start and finish times, regular team meetings; use “setting events” for working at home e.g. use a specific chair/desk).
- Set simple goals and adjust your expectations of what you can achieve at the moment.
I like this quote from @_happyasamother “Remember you can do anything, but you can’t do everything so be kind to yourself today.”
If you can relate to any of the issues mentioned in this article and would like to know more, please get in touch.
